We're Not in Lawerence Anymore
by Opaque Opal
Summary: After receiving a call from Bobby, Dean and Sam travel to Forks, Washington to investigate a bunch of vampires. Will they be able to succeed? A complete parody; please R&R!
1. And So It Begins

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural, even though I want to. And thank God I don't own Twilight XD

**A/N: Alright, I had this idea a while ago. And I figured I'd post it up now before someone else decides to do it. After all, more and more of the Supernatural/Twilight crossovers are coming out. **

* * *

_Tuesday_

_7:20 AM_

_Portland, Oregon_

Dean Winchester was pacing the motel room, holding a cheap cellphone to his ear. Mumbling a quick good-bye, he hung up. Glancing at the bed behind him, he noticed that Sam was still sleeping, shirtless and lying on his stomach. Which was weird, considering Sam was already up before him.

"Sammy, come on! Get up!" Dean said, shaking his shoulder.

"Wuh? What is it" he asked groggily.

"I just got a call from Bobby. He says might have a case in Forks, Washington," Dean explained, shoving his dirty laundry into a duffel bag.

"Did he say what we might be fighting?" Sam asked, dressing rapidly.

"I have no idea. He said it might be vampires, but--"

"But what, Dean?" Sam pressed.

"If its vampires, its definitley something we haven't seen before," Dean replied

* * *

_Wednesday_

_7:00 AM_

_Forks, Washington_

After blasting 70's rock music and nearly breaking the Impala's sound system, Dean and Sam had pulled in front of a high school parking lot. It was filled with students ready to start the school day.

"Bobby wanted us to go to a high school?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Dean said, "apparently there's this family of them that goes here. However, we have no idea how dangerous they are. But after seeing what they can do its best to be prepared."

"So we're just going to sit here until we see something suspicious?"

"I guess so. Bobby said to just wait. Then we'd see something."

They were quiet for a few minutes, staring out at the light rain. Hoping to see anything out of the ordinary. And then--

"Dude, check out that ride!" Dean cried.

Looking out the window, Sam could make out a reddish/orange old truck driving slowly into the parking lot. Some students snickered as a girl with brown hair trudged out.

"Wow, I don't even know her but I feel sorry for her," Sam said, "I mean, she looks so uncomfortable with herself yet she's so gorgeous."

"Alright, something's _really _fishy here," Dean exclaimed, "_I'm _supposed to be the one hitting on the girls and now _you _are? Sheesh, who are you and what have you done with Sam?"

Leaning back into the seat, Dean shut his eyes. Then, he opened them.

"Aw no, Sammy!" he said

"What?" Sam asked, having a dreamy look on his face as he stared at the girl from afar.

"You're under the Sue Spell!" Dean cried.

Suddenly, a van skidded into the parking lot, looking like it was going to crush the girl.

"I'll save you!" Same cried, sprinting out of the Impala.

"Sam!" Dean barked, slamming the car door as he chased after him.

Both of them were too late. For at that moment, an unaturally gorgeous, pale boy had jumped in front of the van. With supernatural strength, he had pushed the car away from the girl. Staring deeply into her eyes for about thirty seconds, he then dashed away without a word.

"Awww, I wanted to save you!" Sam whined, pouting.

"Who are you, anyway?" the girl asked, giving him a weird look, "God, why does everyone love me at this school? I've barely been here for a month and already I have guys drooling over me! But Edward doesn't! He's always trying to repress it and its _annoying_!"

"Be grateful you're still alive," Dean said, getting into her face with a fake ID "my name is Harrison Chrysler and this is my partner Ford Egle. We'd like to ask you a few questions."

"I'm gonna be late to class," the girl said, turning her back. She had barely walked to steps when she tripped over her own two feet. By natural instinct, Sam caught Bella in his arms.

"Your shampoo smells really pretty," he said, grinning like Dopey from _Snow White. _

"Even though this is slightly creepy, I can't help but feel that this is how a normal relationship should be!" the girl squealed.

"Just tell us your name," Dean ordered.

"It's Isabella Swan. But my friends call me Bella."

"Bella..." Sam said, as if trying to get a feel for it, "that's a very pretty name."

"Well, thank you Bella. We'll be in touch," Dean said, taking his brother by his upperarm.

Dragging him back toward the Imapla, he shoved his brother inside and sped away. Luckily, it wasn't long before Sam came to his senses.

"What just happened?" he asked, rubbing his temple.

"You just suffered from the Sue Spell. I don't know why I didn't; maybe its because I've seen enough hot girls to last a lifetime. But she wasn't even _that _great looking. She was one of those girls who is the klutzy-awkward cute, if there is such a thing," Dean said, gripping the steering wheel tightly, "Oh, and some freaky pale dude just put a dent into a car with one hand."

"But that's impossible. There's no way someone can do that," Sam reasoned.

"Well, I'm telling you it happened. Something _weird _is going on here. And we're gonna figure it out" Dean replied.


	2. Big Macs and Bella

**A/N: Alright, its about time I had an update. What with Twilight winning practically everything at the MTV Awards and all. WHY they even were nominated is beyond me, since the movie stunk. Ah well, on with the chapter!**

* * *

Several hours later, Dean and Sam were sitting in their motel room, eating McDonalds and surfing the Web.

"So what exactly is the Sue Spell?" Sam asked, eating his Big Mac ravenously and chewing with his mouth open. Dean, however, was eating his grilled chicken salad with dainty bites, careful not to scrape his teeth against the plastic fork.

"You remember when we found out Chuck was writing those book about us? And how some people were Sam/Dean fans?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I linked it to this website called Fanfiction. Apparently a bunch of people just go on it and write whatever they want. However, most everyone hates these things called Mary-Sues. They come in all types of forms, but mostly girls create a version of themselves, but with all the flaws removed. Or they're just really self-concious and withdrawn from everyone yet they somehow become the most popular kid in school overnight,"

"You mean like Bella?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, like her. And probably why I hate her so much is because she reminds me of that bitch who stole our Colt!" Dean said angrily, "but anyways, these Sues have the power to make characters in original stories bend in their favor. Which explains why you're acting more like me and how I'm a complete dork."

"Thanks," said Sam sarcastically.

"No problem," Dean smiled. Then, he looked down at his food, "Jesus, man! I've barely spent five minutes in Bella's vicinity and I'm already eating rabbit food!" Shuddering in disgust, he threw the rest of the salad in the garbage.

"But that still doesn't explain why Bobby wanted us to go after those vampires," Sam reminded him, throwing his food wrappers in the trash as well. Dean stared at him in shock and then punched him in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Sam whined.

"Have you forgotten what Dad's taught us all our lives? We're supposed to hunt these creatures! And ever since we've come to this nutso town we haven't been acting like ourselves!"

Their argument was interrupted by a knock at the door. Striding over to it, Sam opened the door. Bella was with a moustached police officer, frowning at him.

"Oh hi, Bella! How are you?" Sam asked, the dreamy puppy-dog eye expression coming back on.

"I'm okay," she shrugged.

"Bella tells me that you two interrogated her after she nearly got run over this morning," said the man.

"We were just making sure she's okay. Ya know, being Good Samaritans and all," Dean said, flashing his pearly whites at him.

"I see," said the man, "well, I happen to be her father Charlie Swan."

"It's nice to meet you sir," Sam replied, shaking his hand.

"Well, we'd love to stay and chat, but we're a little busy at the moment," Dean said, beginning to close the door.

"Wait!" Charlie said, sticking his foot into the threshold, "maybe you two can swing by for a couple of beers on Saturday?"

"Dad, you barely know these guys," Bella stage-whispered.

"I wanna go! Please Dean, can we go?" Sam asked, acting like a kid who wanted to ride on the 25 cent carousel.

"Wait a minute, I thought you said your name was Harrison?" Bella said, raising an eyebrow at Dean. He gave Sam a dirty look that clearly said _Thanks for blowing our cover. _But if this girl was a Mary-Sue, maybe he could fool her.

"I meant that Harrison was my _undercover_ name. My real name is in fact Dean."

"Yeah, whatever," she shrugged, turning their back on him.

"Just meet me down at the station if you still want a drink," Charlie called, following his daughter.

"We will!" Sam smiled. Before he could call out any further, Dean slammed the door. Immediatley, his brother seemed to return back to normal, rubbing his temple.

"I was under the Sue Spell, wasn't I?" he asked.

"Damn straight you were!" Dean growled, "and you're lucky her brain is the size of a pea or otherwise we could've had our asses in jail for impersonating an officer!"

"But you can't be arrested without a warrant," said Sam, "and besides, even if he did come into here anything he found in an illegal search wouldn't matter in court. I learned about it in law school."

"Well, that's a good thing," Dean said, exhaling in relief.

"Why?"

"Let's just say I made a stop at the video store. And--"

"Aw man, Dean!" Sam groaned.

"What? Its perfectly normal, Sam! And its all over the Internet anyway!"

Rolling his eyes, Sam put on his jacket.

"And where do you think you're going?" Dean asked.

"Obviously you want to watch those. But I'm going to do some more investigating for a few hours. So if you want to watch those, you better do it now."

Sam opened the door and then closed it quietly. Once he had left, Dean turned out the lights, pulled the curtains in, and padlocked the door. Then, he settled down, popped the tape into the VCR, and waited for the magic to happen.

* * *

**A/N: Dude, it is so much fun to toy around with these characters. But I need some help figuring out exactly how Sam and Dean are going to meet Edward. So if you have any good suggestions, send them ASAP!**


End file.
